Last Christmas

Last Christmas

George Michael died. We were listening to his song, Last Christmas the day before. Wondering about his life, what a handsome guy he used to be when he was still in the Wham. I had their poster up on my wall above the bed. Much later him coming out, thinking  what a pity. Most of the handsome ones turn out to be with different orientation.

Then came the news that Carrie Fisher died. A day later her mum. Just found  out about her mum a few hours ago. My son telling me that how come we don’t cry when a stranger dies, yet we are totally devastated when a relative or friend dies.  My empathy went overboard, and almost started crying at Massimo Dutti while shopping for a coat.
Makes you wonder… Life is too short. You never know what is around the corner. And no, I am not drunk, only had a glass of white wine before my fish chowder at the Ritz.

This year is almost over. Our time with my family is over. Took them to the airport yesterday morning. The week went by so fast.

They’ve spent 7 days and 7 nights with us. Showed them all the sights we could squeeze into such a short time. Will tell you all about it in my next post. Also, about our 2 days in London.

But for now, I just want to stop for a while and observe. To think, and to feel, to take in my surroundings, deal with my feelings, thoughts…

Almost a year has gone by, only 3 more days left. Yet certain things haven’t changed. How everyone expects things from me, although each and every one of them different things.

Always tried to live by their rules, be an obedient daughter, wife , perfect mother. Don’t ask my son though , because he would tell you otherwise.

But what about me? What about my dreams, wishes? Trying to carve out time for my hobbies, taking time away from them is still a challenge for me. Always put others needs before mine. By now I got better at it, but still need to improve.
So once again I wow to spend more time on my writing, photography and gardening.
You might call it a New Year resolution.

For now I just want to stop feeling guilty. What would happen if I don’t vacuum right now, or the dirty dishes stay in the sink?

Will my son be upset if his clothes are not perfectly folded in his drawers?

Will the readers on Wattpad demand my head if I don’t post a new chapter today?

NO. The answer is NO.

So I am off to taking a nap. Right after I’ve stopped to smell the …no, not the roses, but that weird orange flower which is covering our rails …


weird orange flower
To end on a positive note , our dog is about to be born….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>