Freaked out. Didn’t think it will happen. Thought I was totally ready for it. Ever since I’ve stepped foot on this island, that is all I have been dreaming of. Living here. Waking up and seeing the ocean first thing in the morning. The beautiful flowers, the glorious sunshine ( ok, even the rain ) , the colourful fruits and veggies at the market.

Being able to do as many levada walks as I wanted. Spending weekends at Porto Santo, discovering Lanzarote, Fuerteventura and the Azores. Popping over to Lisbon for some quick shopping.

Delicious omega 3 rich diet all year round. Time to exercise, to write my book, to wander around and just take pictures.

To be in a permanent happier mood. To be able to have a dog finally. To see my son happy, relaxed, in a place where I don’t have to worry about safety, or crime.

Paradise. My paradise.

We’ve arranged a meeting with the school way back home. Agreed to leave our son there for half a day. See if he likes it.

Been there a year ago, wasn’t impressed back then. A. insisted we should give it a try again.

Extremely warm welcome, teacher whisked my son off in a second. Spent almost an hour with the Primary coordinator -very nice British lady -discussing everything, her giving me all the right answers, so slowly I started to relax.

By 12 we were back ,eagerly waiting for him to appear at the top of stairs.
Honestly, I haven’t seen him this happy for a long, long time. They’ve put him in Year 4, a year down (according to his age), where there is another Hungarian boy as well. He already made friends. Couldn’t stop chatting about the things they did.

He liked it so much so, that he begged me to let him go on Friday again.

So he went for a full day, which is from 9-17. Pretty long hours if you ask me. But since we have no other option, this school is the only one where the teaching is in English, must get used to it.

While he was busy at school, we went to see an international tax adviser. Discussing numbers, filing tax returns, arranging moving, talking about private health insurance and why I shouldn’t bring my car here…it was surreal.

Was advised to sell off any property I want to before becoming a resident here, because after that I will be taxed here, even if the income back home is tax free.

On the way out A. casually mentioned that if I am thinking of selling something, than it should be my log cabin in the mountains. He said, that it is like an old lady, high maintenance and totally useless.

Now, that is where I lost it. As if he was asking me to abandon my child , just because he is not behaving as we thought he should.

Felt like daggers in my heart, could barely manage to control myself till home. I was sobbing uncontrollably.

He just doesn’t get it. How much I love that place, the garden, each and every flower planted by me, watching them grow…the mist, the trails, the smell of the logs, sipping mulled wine by the fireplace, my huge bathtub, the cosy bedroom. All the work, all the memories.

My home.
He tells me its ok. I can still change my mind. Not to worry about the apartment. He can rent it out. It is totally up to me . After all it is me who wanted it all along. It is my decision. But should take M. into consideration.

17.00.

A small part of me, somewhere deep within is hoping that my son will say that he had a horrible time and don’t ever want to come back here again.

I see him, he is smiling. Teacher walks up to me, tells me that he had fun, even had math and spelling tests, and hoping to see us in September. She looks at my son , and he happily nods.

I guess we are moving….