Chasing happiness…that is how I feel. Yet it evades me. Many times, just when I feel I’ve found it, it slips through my fingers like quick sand, one minute I have it, the next minute I don’t.
You must appreciate the happy moments, and believe me I do. I am grateful for the things I have, appreciate small things, big things.
Notice the way the first ray of sun hits the tree in front of our house just as I am pulling out of the driveway.
Learnt to love fog, even though it scares the …t out of me as I am driving home with my son in total foggy darkness, hoping that I don’t happen to meet a deer on our way.
Appreciate those times when my son is still willing to cuddle, lets me kiss him and jumps into my bed after a bad dream he had.
Enjoy the warmth of the fire on cold evenings.
Grateful for being able to soak in a tub full of hot water with frangipani bath oil.
Proud to be able to plank continuously for over 8 minutes, only stopping to change positions.
Grateful for each day that passes by without knee pain.
Could it be because of the wonderful climate of Madeira or the ASEA I’ve started to take, don’t know. But I am grateful.
Than there are the big things, like health, and the health of my loved ones,fingers crossed, so far so good.
Happy to have the house of my dreams, glad to be able to spend our vacations here in Madeira, in a gorgeous house with the most amazing view of the Atlantic Ocean.
But, and that is a big BUT, there is one department I am not so good at , that is the personal relationships. Still no progress.
Must be our karma or I don’t know. Maybe I should try regressive therapy, focus more on my inner child, really haven’t got a clue.
I am so good at solving other’s people’s problems, easy to give advice.
Why can’t I see my own life clearly? Am I making the right choices, should I continue on my path, or should I take a different route?
It has been 2 years, yet I haven’t figured out anything. Actually my life is even more complicated.
People around me are moving forward, having their second or even third kid, taking on new jobs, new assignments, moving to a new county, new continent, falling in and out of love, things are happening in their lives.
A friend of mine tells me that I should be happy, I get to have everything I ever wanted, just a bit from here, a bit from there…but overall my life is good.
I agree with her. But a small voice within me is whispering, actually becoming louder and louder.
THIS IS NOT IT!
What is wrong with me? Or could it be the hormones I am taking?
P.S.: Tomorrow I am back to my own self hopefully, and will continue on with our adventures in Madeira. 