5:53
Only 5 minutes to go. I remember as if it happened just yesterday. The duck with orange for dinner for two. With my Mum. Me going to sleep on the sofa. Telling Mum a bit later that I think my water has broken, her telling me to go back to sleep. Half an hour later I was pretty sure that the time has come.

Totally freaked out while taking a shower, I was so not ready for this, absolutely loved being pregnant, would have easily carried on having him inside me for a few more months, safe and sound within me.

Slow walk to hospital next to us. Telling them that I want to go to the alternative birthing room.
They tell me that my doctor doesn’t do alternative. Oh, hell he does…with me.

So we settle down, bathtub, fit balls, peony scented candles , whale music in the background, Mum anxious looking in the corner, my sis cracking jokes while each and every time I hold on to the sink as the pains come. Hold on to it as if my life depends on it. During the breaks I let the cool water run down my wrist.

Balls, baths, music, nothing helped. Just the sink that I could hold on to. I was close to ripping it out after a couple of hours.

And here comes the best bit, which my son loves the most. When his mummy is begging the doctor to shoot her or do anything with her just to end the suffering ( in english,because she is too polite to say it in hungarian), to which the doctor replies. “ Good, that means within half an hour he will be born.”

Last part a bit hazy, me not feeling the urge to push, though doctor tells me to do, worrying about him getting stuck…and then suddenly the relief…he pops out and lets the world know that he has arrived.

My son. 3280 g, 54 cm , 5:53 am. 31st of October 2006.

On a beautiful crisp autumn morning my whole life changed. For the better. I knew there and than that no love is greater than the love you have for your child.

I will love you till the end of times.

Happy Birthday my baby!

P.s.: If you are reading it I know you are thinking that I shouldn’t have written “baby”.